The home environment parents establish for their child or children is essential in maintaining the health and balance of the family. At the YDBG, we refer to that balance as the P/PC balance or production/production capability.
In 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, by Stephen Covey, the principle of P/PC balance is first introduced. Mr. Covey goes on to share the essence of this principle is sustainability; that in order to align with and achieve sustainability, you must balance the production with the production capability. In other words, production is defined as your “work” and production capability is defined as the deposits you make into your personal wellbeing, the deposits into others and deposits that you contribute to life. All of these deposits are into what COvey calls your emotional bank account.
Now that you have the context of production & production capability, you may be asking “How do I integrate the principle of P/PC Balance or sustainability in the home?” You have asked a great question! Work, or production, around the house, can look like chores or jobs, yardwork, grocery shopping, homework, or bigger projects like cleaning out the garage, basement, or attic. Examples of deposits, or production capability, you make into yourself, your family and life, which in this case is your home, are personal self care practices, quality one on one time with each child, date night with your partner, family dinner or game night, and hosting holiday parties.
The tool used at the YourDay Balance Game for measuring the number of deposits you make into yourself, others and life is the Balance Chart app. There are 7 building blocks of the Balance Chart: Breath, Aqueous, Lengthen, Anaerobic, Nutrition, Cleanse & Energize. Each building block has habits ranging in levels of difficulty that meet you where you are or challenge you. Lastly, the Magic Feed is an essential component of the balance chart as well. This is where you are able to document all of the magical or inspiring moments in your life every day. At the YDBG, we define “Magic” as your ability to influence life in an empowering way. You can certainly influence yourself, others and life in a disempowering way yet we prefer to focus on empowering!
Without a doubt, there is always something to clean up or clean out of the home! Here we are focusing on an aspect of production capability or specifically, the deposits you make into yourself AND your child or children.
For new and veteran parents alike, the Balance Chart app is a wonderful resource of accountability for quantifying the number of deposits into yourself. By having daily and weekly habits set up, parents always have access to their personal toolbox of resources. Access to these resources provides you with opportunities throughout the day to revitalize yourself and by revitalizing yourself, you are able to give from a cup runneth over, to your family and friends. At the YDBG, this is what we call a WIN-WIN! You WIN by giving to yourself and your circle of influence (children, partners, family & friends) WINs because you are depositing into them. This is how you begin to teach children to calm themselves. By modeling these habits of giving to yourself sets a powerful example for your children and partner, even if your kids may be younger. Energetically, they tune into the frequency of happiness and love that you are giving to yourself. They see how you’re making yourself a priority and then become the recipient of that revitalized energy.
Teaching children techniques to calm themselves and self-regulate emotions are integral to increased confidence and high self-esteem. Kids at every age, experience a vast array of challenging emotions including anxiousness, anger, fear, jealousy and overall tension or stress in their bodies. Mindfulness & exercise are very healthy practices for calming kids. With consistency, the intention is to model these tools and show them how to create their personal toolbox of habits or resources. In times of stress, as the children grow, it’s key for parents to remind them they always have access to their toolbox, where the kids are able to trust themselves to self-regulate. From personal experience, parents witnessing children remembering to use their tools on their own thereby providing the feeling of calm for their kids is such an incredible feeling of success – another WIN-WIN! Below is our personal list of tools Bill & I deployed & modeled as new parents. We continue to utilize this list to this day and interestingly enough, these strategies provide a feeling of calm for teens as well.
Of course we recommend this app to all parents & their children!! We have been active players on the app since 2013 and it certainly has been life changing. What makes the app unique is that it addresses the totality of the person, creates an amazing amount of self worth, is powered by love & balance and it’s FUN! Our children have been players on the app going on 3 years. With over 100s of habits integrated into the app for all ages & levels and new ones being added all the time, as a Transformation Coach, I would recommend children 8+ could utilize this technology for themselves. In fact, as you continue to read this list, most of these habits are incorporated into the Balance Chart, in some form or another.
There are so many therapeutic books written telling adventurous stories while weaving mindfulness, visualization & calming language throughout. One of our favorites was “ A Boy & His Turtle” by Lori Lite
choosing short amounts of time, usually 1 minute per year of age, allow kids to be still, focus on their breathing, a word or phrase and ultimately calms them down. If the child does not settle down, do not force them, however instruct them to be still and silent for the period of time.
this is a wonderful “waking” meditation or grounding exercise and is especially helpful when traveling in the car. Have the child name items in a sequential order or pattern, according to colors, senses, types of foods…the choices are limitless. For example, “Name 5 red items, name 4 green items, name 3 yellow items, name 2 blue items, name 1 orange item” OR “name 5 items you can taste, name 4 items you can see, name 3 items you can hear, name 2 items you can smell, name 1 item you can feel”.
Call a loved one
Suggest they call a parent, grandparent, Aunt or Uncle, brother or sister, friends from school. Connecting with another person that will offer them support and loving kind words is demonstrating they are able to trust in that relationship.
Take 10 deep breaths, make a game out of it and hold your breath for 15-30 seconds, do belly breathing or breath of fire with your child.
Take a stroll outside in nature, rain or shine. Connecting with nature is very grounding. Collect rocks, sticks, feathers or flowers and create a nature shelf at home.
Pull weeds, dig a hole with a shovel & fill it in; make mud & let it squish between fingers and toes; plant flower or vegetable seeds.
Hammer & Nails
Use an old tree stump or scrap of wood to hammer long nails into it; this is a great method to release anger. Our son Lucas would use different-sized nails to make a “forest” into the stump.
In the bedroom
Create a soothing, peaceful environment that establishes calm for kids. If you have the room, remove all the toys from their bedroom, only allowing books and stuffed animals. No batteries means no noise! Add calming music, soft lighting or maybe create a “book nook” with a bean bag chair.
is calming for kids, especially in the off season: Color dye eggs (keep an “egg-tra” set or 2 of egg coloring kits on hand); Dress up in halloween costumes and go pretend trick or treating; Listen to Christmas holiday music & dance around the house.
Take a nap with your child!
Cuddle up with each other in blankets and pillows, close the curtains or blinds, maybe add soft music. Parent Tip: Set an alarm otherwise you may fall asleep for too long!
The Power of Music
They say music soothes the savage beast or in this case, our children! Grab a pair of headphones & listen to your favorite music; head outside or to your bean bag chair. Share with the kids what your favorite music was when you were younger, in your teens and now.
Listen to a Podcast
There are a plethora of podcasts published every week for kids at all ages. Explore finding one together and then enjoy with a pair of headphones.
Get into Your Body
Yes, I mean exercise!! Do jumping jacks, running in place, butt kicks, hop on 2 feet or alternate legs, somersaults, twirl around in a circle.
Continues in part II here